Can You Be The Black Swan?

Two things came to

my mind when I thought about

'Black Swan' before seeing it.

The beautiful, haunting, and tantalizing picture of Natalie Portman’s face on the film’s poster, and something I read about it. I read so much stuff daily, but just sometimes, some words I read move me physically. Not emotionally, though that too, but literally MOVE ME. Like, get me off my chair. I’m not saying I wouldn’t see Black Swan if I didn’t read what I read, but I sure wouldn’t see it as connected to it, as I did.

Usually, I see movies on the premiere night or at least the opening weekend; this one I waited to see on purpose. I wanted to hear all the rumors, all the opinions, and all the feelings people had about it before I see it.

I wanted to do an experiment; I wanted to fill my head with a bunch of opinions about Black Swan. I wanted to be saturated with it. Then, I wanted to be able to distinguish people by how they perceived it.

And how did they?

Mostly wrong.

Some the way they should: by reviewing the level of their own Black Swan-ess.

What I found most interesting - most of the guys hated it. Interesting, but surely not surprising; when was the last time guys understood the inner struggles of a woman? Especially the ones they inflict upon us. Were they ever able to see their part in our emotions?

How can a guy understand a struggle of a woman who was forced to be a childlike perfectionist of an artist, a good little obeying girl - to forget all she knew all her life, and transform into a first-class seductress?

Guys are not capable of understanding the fight within. Especially when the fight in question is between the things they like most in a woman, just not all in the same woman.

A nice little shy, moral girl: stay in the house. The seductress: wait for me outside. Soo classic, it pains me to write these words.

Tons of people asked me to review this movie, but I don’t want to go deeper than this. I just feel this is the type of film that shouldn’t be particularly discussed with someone that didn’t see it, felt it. I don’t want to put my opinion or feeling about it into your head; this movie in particular should be experienced without my thoughts influencing it for you. It’s that special and important.

What is it to say about Natalie Portman and the easiness that radiates from every emotionally demanding role she takes on? This woman is a powerhouse. She already was, even as a child.

Leon, the Professional.

V for Vendetta.

Black Swan.

What is it to say really? You watch her, and you watch it with silence. Every time I see Natalie Portman, I remember a funny thing: every time you ask people in Hollywood that are running around trying to be actors without any real talent to show for it - “What is your ideal film partner, actor or actress you would want to work with?”. Almost ALL say, well Meryl Streep or Natalie Portman, thinking talent is contagious.

Mila Kunis. You don’t see a person who can be cute, hot, sweet, sexy, funny, and deadly - all in the same time, but Mila does it with ease.

Barbara Hershey. Just a look at a head tilt. The end. Mommy dearest, to the fullest.

Vincent Cassel. How do I even begin with Vincent Cassel? I’m biased here, Vincent is my prime-time example of what a man should be, and I don’t think he is much different privately than his role in 'Black Swan'. Or many other of his roles, really. Not considered pretty by society’s standards, but he’s more beautiful than a pack of the hottest guys on the planet. There's confidence, and then there’s Vincent Cassel's brand of confidence. He is the type of guy that will eye you in a bar, and you’ll turn and think - “gosh, why is this ugly dude eyeing me.”, and before you know it, he'll be next to your chair verbally dueling you to the point you’ll ask him to tell you what you think, and he’ll have his tongue in your mouth just a second before you actually wished for it.

"Open your mouth, open your mouth..." scene with Portman. Forget life.

Darren Aronofsky. What’s to say about the man who can take the absolute best from every actor he works with, every single time? Not only the best but the thing they didn’t even realize they had in them. Requiem for a Dream, anyone?Aronofsky + Portman = theater, now.

But Portman. I have to go back. Not enough words. The looks, brain, education, character, self-preservation, humbleness, and life choices - if there’s perfection in life, Natalie Portman is as close as it gets.

Oh, I never told you what I read, that made me see this movie....? Right.

By Stephanie Klein, of the Greek Tragedy:

“The opening of the film, with Natalie Portman as good girl Nina ripping up the soles of ballet shoes, scoring them, her reflection in a mirror—rhythm, metered steps, a French accent. And all I can think is that I should be harder, stricter, a black twin of myself. Hard, conniving, tough. A mother you remember for getting in your face and pulling the best out of you. Can you embody both white and black? Be a twin of yourself? Can you be a graceful white swan and also be a back-stabbing bitch? Yes we can!”

I loved this movie, but what I liked, even more, is the symbolism it represents in life. The white and black. The soft and tough. The right and wrong. The way how Nina is designed in a film - pinkish coat, white scarf, hair pulled back, bare make-up, as opposed to her black twin that passes her by in the subway - the black coat, hair down, strong make-up. The good and bad.

Are we just good, or just bad? And what is bad anyways? Who decides what's bad? Us, the ones being bad, or the ones that might be on the receiving end of our bad?

Can we be both?

Or as Stephanie Klein puts it - “Can you be a graceful white swan and also be a back-stabbing bitch?” Or the teacher in the movie - "You can do the white swan Nina, I know that, but can you do the black swan, that is the question”.

“Can you be the black swan of yourself?"

See, I think there’s no white or black swan, good or bad people. We are all good, and we are also all bad. We are all capable of being bad if we chose to.

It’s a revelation.

And sometimes in life, doing what we know it’s bad - listening to bad music, eating bad food, doing bad stuff, drinking bad shit, socializing with bad people, going to bad places, sleeping with the wrong people - is exactly what we need to find our balance.