Who Watches The Watchmen?

This was supposed to be a small, short, and cute movie review. This move is neither small, short, nor cute. It’s a force to be reckoned with!

How do I even begin about this movie? It made such a huge impression on me, I’m at a loss for words. Well, I take that back. I’m NEVER at a loss for words.

First, I’ve got to admit I didn’t know anything about this comic book before I saw the movie. Honestly, I’m a bit ashamed. How can I not hear about something so honest, morbid, apocalyptic, and true?

I’m a loser.

Let me take you back for a second; I always loved comic books made into a movie. It’s just so unreal and beautiful to escape into some mysterious world, better than any reality possible. I always had trouble with reality. When I was a kid, I thought Bruce Wayne really existed somewhere. I would find him, live in his Batcave, drive in his Batmobile, and fight bad guys alongside him; in my Batdreams.

What happened then?

I grew up, and I found out the world is nothing like in my Batdreams; people are bad, mean, terrible, and on the verge of destroying themselves with our greed. The world does not want saving!

So my escapism left, and frustration about the world and its lack of humanity ensued. I’m still struggling with the realization of what this world is, and I wish I were like most people I know: careless, clueless, superficial, and satisfied.

I’m not satisfied.

Not with people, not with the world, not with most of the things I see around me. And that’s why Watchmen came along like a much-needed medicine for my soul. Why? Because I’m sick of pretending. Watchmen doesn’t pretend. It destroys.

They call it post-modern, and I call it deconstructive. I call it destructive and then deconstructive. If you do not know what the movie is about, let me just run you through it really quickly (spoilers ahead!) — the year is 1985, but not the one we all remember; this is an alternate reality. Richard Nixon’s been president for almost 20 years now, serving his third/fourth/fifth term (thank god Bush didn’t read The Watchmen), while the US nation faces nuclear shenanigans with Russia (then USSR).

Meanwhile, superheroes who helped Nixon win the Vietnam War have been driven into early retirement by the Government. When one of the superheroes (with no real superpowers, no less) called Comedian is killed by being thrown out a window (no superpowers, remember), the remaining Watchmen gather together to figure out if there’s anybody who wants them all dead.

What’s so fascinating about that, you ask? Everything. It’s freaking intelligent. The superheroes are real and ordinary, they are fucked up, they are dirty, they fight and kill for no reason, they rape, their superhero car breaks down, they have erection problems; it’s morbid and real and disgusting, and it shows the world just how it is — morbid, flawed, and often disgusting.

It is about violence and sex. Its humor is dark and blunt; it analyzes the world, people, government, fate, God, and metaphysical forces. It has a murder mystery, aspects of a political thriller, science fiction, and not a touch of soap opera. 

What impressed me the most was the character development. The way superheroes are written mirrors society so perfectly; they are flawed and screwed up, but they put their superhero suits on anyway, compelled to enter the mayhem that will only scar them deeper.

Some of the characters are so morally ambiguous that they make Bruce Wayne’s Shakespearean inner demons in Dark Knight seem almost comedic. 

Visual motifs also touched all of my senses — they so playfully paint this contradictory, brilliant comic, written by Alan Moore. The yellow smiley face badge worn by the character called Comedian, the vilest of all the superheroes, gets splattered with his blood when he gets murdered; it's chilling. And ironic.

I concluded that the writer, adorned by millions of comic book fans around the world,  is the real superhero. Alan Moore's wisdom is just mind-blowing. The lines in this movie were so wise, every single word mattered, playful but paranoid, philosophical, reflective.

The way the writer tore apart the iconic aspect of superheroes tears you apart in return. It made me want to run down from the theater to the nearest Barnes & Noble, buy a pad, and start writing down the lines from the movie, or at least pull my Blackberry out and take notes, but the fear of comic book fans and Alan Moore/Watchmen aficionados in the theater killing me if I moved while the movie was running, or lighting my phone on and ruining a scene — I caved. 

It moved me that much.

A movie that has lines like –

Perhaps the world is not made. Perhaps nothing is made. Perhaps it simply is, has been, will always be there… A clock without a craftsman…

or -

Listen.. Once you figure out what a joke everything is, being the Comedian’s the only thing that makes sense…

or even -

But the country’s disintegrating. What’s happened to America? What’s happened to the American dream? It came true. You’re lookin’ at it.

How can you not see it?

As I said, the wisdom of Alan Moore is contagious. His arguments are so philosophical, and to call this guy a visionary would not give him enough justice. I read somewhere that he is a “cultural treasure chest,” and that even doesn't seem enough. 

Why do I like these apocalyptic stories, you might ask? What is wrong with me that I enjoy this? I don’t like apocalyptic stories, but unfortunately, the world is apocalyptic, and I like the truth. I like a brutal, honest, unforgiving truth. 

There is just so much pretending, I NEED the truth to remain SANE. The spirit of this movie and this writer is so unique that its anti-triumphalistic message is going to make you feel fine, not depressed, because it’s morally satisfying — for anyone who is challenged with a definition of humanity.

Go see this movie. It’s a must. But as I said, don’t expect Superman. 

Superman has left the building.