An Intro to Retroactive Jealousy

I used to write a lot about why men do what they do. I analyzed them to a point of unconsciousness, thinking if I break them down diligently, I would somehow instigate a shift in dubious behaviors. Men don’t bother me as of late. I understand why they do what they do. It makes sense to me, even their shittiest actions. I understand their logic behind it, even if they do me no well.

Women bother me as of late. I feel betrayed by every silly, illogical, insecure, hateful action women do. Men can’t hurt me. Women can. The way they treat their fellow women is one of the most crushing facts I have had the misfortune to witness.

It’s breaking my heart.

The fact men stick to each other in such brotherly ways, throughout their entire lives, makes me jealous. I want to experience that, if only for one day.

The line I’ve read somewhere made me sad, at first - “All men are the same age”, but then after it marinated a bit, it made me envious. They are all the same, all the same age, feeling an eternal sense of comradeship toward one another.