Happy New Year: Complete Me

Happy New Year, people. Or rather, Happy New Decade!

When I started writing this blog in 2008, I had no idea I would still be documenting my thoughts in 2020. Two hundred (200+) posts later, here we are. It’s been an adventure; hopefully, it helped you through challenging times, confused feelings, social & cultural phenomenons, or navigating your love life. I know it helped me.

I love going through my blogs from time to time, to see how I developed as a person, what I went through, what I thought at certain moments, and how I grew over time. We don’t see growth on every day basis, it’s good to be reminded of it.

Everyone always says time flies, well yes, and no; in my opinion, and in my experience - life is short, but also very long and it gives you numerous chances to get things right.

You have plenty of time. The question is, how will you utilize it?

The last few years made me come to a very simple realization: things need to get done. We need to tackle things to completion. Finish them. Get them done.

I noticed a surprisingly large number of people I know post very similar stories on social media, when the clock ticked midnight on Dec 31st. They all sounded like this: “Goodbye 2019 I hate you, good riddance, fuck off, I couldn’t wait for you to be over, I love you 2020, welcome, so happy you’re here”.

That baffled me. Why? Because I saw the same stories from the same people saying exactly the same thing on New Year’s Eve of 2016, 2017, 2018, and 2019.

Let me make sure I understand you.

Every year is terrible for you and you couldn’t wait for it to be over, only to welcome the next year with the same exact energy, positivity, and vigor; only to hate that year in 12 months’ time, wishing it to get lost “because the next one will be amazing” - and so on. In circles.

Same people. Same spiel. Same excuses.

The only year you’re allowed to hate is 2016. The year when so many beloved, culturally monumental artists died. It will forever be etched in 2016. I’ll give you that. But why are you hating every single year? Why is the year at fault? The year did not prevent you from anything you set out to do.

I woke up on January 1st with a few annoying phone calls demanding things from me, and I was so mad it was already starting. Why can’t I have a few days or a week to relax, think, and settle? Then I got up and realized - ok, this is the year you’ll be getting things done from day one. You need to get out and GET THINGS DONE.

I’m not trying to preach to you, I swear. We all need help and a push. I call myself out every day when I don’t get things done and try to install in my mind; the year is not to blame, we are.

It does, however, annoy me when I see people announce small things, something that depends just on them, and not outside circumstances, yet that is never done. For years, and years ahead. Which makes me think; why announce it at all? Isn’t it better to work in silence, then add up when something worth adding up actually happens?

I heard you announce something in 2017. This year will be THE YEAR. It didn’t happen. Then I read you announcing the same exact thing in 2018, which also did not happen; not in completion, but it wasn’t even initiated. Then you did the same in 2019, nothing again; and this year.

You might think I’m harsh now, but I rather be harsh and make you think and maybe provoke you to actually complete something, than tell you what you want to hear. And this goes for everyone, me and you both; we are exceptionally unproductive as a generation, right now, at this time. At this moment. We are distracted by so many things, it’s extremely challenging to focus.

I did a research on a subject a few weeks back that lured me to research deeper about some artists in 60s, 70s, and 80s. These people were so unbelievably productive. They bled for their achievements. They did more in a decade than we’ll do in all of our lifetimes! Why? Because we’re lazy.

You don’t want to admit you’re lazy? You are. We are.

The problem of this generation is, we have it easy. Everything is at our display. Generations before us had to walk home to talk to their crush on the land phone, in the hallway, with their parents snooping and listening, when they needed something they had to walk out and find it, when they needed to research something they had to hit the library; and us? What are we doing? We need to press a button to get things, to know things, yet that’s somehow hard for us?

We are mentally lazy, and that transforms into physically lazy. We don’t need to develop our social skills, we don’t need to work our awkwardness in front of our crush, we just swipe and “order” a person or a pizza, we lay in bed and turn the Netflix on, we don’t need to leave the house to buy things, we order on Amazon we get it the next day, we don’t have parents interfering our conversations with our crushes, yet we are spoiled enough to let people wait for hours/days for our response.

People.

We are lazy. Everything is at the press of a button for us, we don’t care about the actual completion of things as long as our announcement of something we’re “planning” to do sounds good on social media and makes a good Instagram story. Hey, your friends have a short memory anyways, also a non-existent focus; they won’t even remember what you said you’ll DEFINITELY do in 2017, 2018, and 2019, as long as you post a cute selfie, a few inspiring quotes, a few pics from the beach, you are well off on your way to prepare a - “fuck off 2020 already, 2021 - you are my year!”

How long will this circle continue?

And if, by any chance, your dismay at the year is not connected to work, projects or accomplishments; but some guy you liked and it didn’t work out, why are you blaming that on a year? Because Instagram told you, with its little motivational posts you repost to your friends - “If he’s giving you mixed signals, they mean no”, or my favorite - “If he’s not knocking at your door 24/7, he’s not the guy for you!” - this is also a byproduct of being lazy, spoiled and entitled.

No, I don’t agree with what Instagram is trying to teach you, that he needs to sing under your window and bang your door down; that’s not treating you right. It’s just social media content gimmicks. That attitude is lazy too. You are not in the Disney Movie, no guy is supposed to rescue you, you should understand his life too, and try to go deeper into understanding him, instead of just demanding what he should do for you.

You should absolutely demand respect and devotion from someone you like, BUT you should also understand there is no DEFAULT for all guys; if you’re smart and focused, present in your particular situation, I assume you can tell a difference between some clown who only want to sleep with you (unless that’s also what you want) and a guy who has his own problems, issues, work, time, and maybe complicated romantic past. Demanding something from a guy that you’ve read in an Instagram post does not give him the impression of a valuable human being who is ready to build something of substance.

Let’s change some perspectives that are mentally holding us hostage. Let’s not have default action for everything and everyone around us; let’s not be lazy, let’s not be selfish, let’s hear others around us; stop saying ALL GUYS, they are all different people. Get more details, get to know someone better.

And most importantly, LET’S GET THINGS DONE. Instead of trying to make something look good on Instagram, let’s move away from it, build something, then come back to share an actual achievement; when it’s done.

You hate your job? Stop repeating it over and over, get in the process of finding the job you like. I know it takes mental energy and it’s easier to turn on Netflix BUT get things DONE, and you will enjoy Netflix so much more when you come home from the job you LOVE.

You are stuck in a relationship you hate but you’re afraid of being alone; thinking you’ll stay in that unhappy relationship UNTIL you meet someone new, NEWSFLASH, that doesn’t happen. Don’t waste your time with someone that doesn’t make you happy, you already lived that reality - give yourself a chance for a BETTER reality.

You are planning to do something, make something, build something, create something, design something, write something but you’re only planning it and doing it in your head, mentally; JUST STOP planning it, SIT DOWN and GET IT DONE.

Happy New Year!