Time to Refresh

We entered the 2016! Would you look at that? I feel like I just went through a small crack in the wall, with victorious - “I made it!”, shrieking through my teeth. The ending/beginning of the year can positively be the most eye-opening time of the year, just - I’m not into the entering the new year part. It’s a joiner event. Everyone stresses about it way too much. “The way I spent New Year's Eve is how my whole year is going to be. What are my resolutions?” I cannot.

Can we not?

It doesn’t matter how you entered the new year, the important part is - you entered it. No one gives a fuck about your resolutions, and you of all people, give the least fuck of all non giving any fucks people - about your resolutions. 

So let’s get real here and change our mindsets. We are in control of our incoming year, our time, our feelings, and our accomplishments (or lack thereof).

Let’s collectively refuse to set ourselves up for failure by focusing on resolutions, rather, let’s refresh ourselves in 2016. Let’s shake off everything that bothered us in 2015., and refresh who we are, what we do, how we think, who we love, and how we perceive things.

You are a collection of thoughts, actions, feelings. Let’s say you’re a website, now, go redesign yourself. Rebrand those pages, remove the old files, and reformat new ones. Delete what wasn’t working, clean the house. Time is passing, and the only true success in life is improving yourself with time. Listen to the change, and move with it. Don’t be a flatline that never evolves. You are not on this planet to just occupy space, you are here to figure things out, grow out of things that don’t serve you, all while growing into things that do.

I compiled a list of things that I feel need to be changed, refreshed in this new year. 2015 was a great year; hold on a second before you dig my eyes out - not saying it wasn’t hard, but it was the greatest lesson, was it not? It was a year of life-changing events, the ones that made you who you are now, the YOU that you actually like!

We are on a great path, I tell you. 2015. made sense. I feel like everyone got what they needed, good or bad. It laid it out perfectly. Whatever good happened to bad people, or bad to good people; it was a part of a bigger picture that made, or soon - will make sense. Have some confidence.

And while that cooks, I compiled a list of the things I want to do in 2016, as well as the things I absolutely don’t. See if any of it speaks to you, too.

Truth

Start telling the truth. Hardcore, unapologetic truth. I do not have time or energy for lies. Nor does anyone in my circle deserve me wrapping the truth in pretty, pink lie. I’m not helping anyone that way. We live in a mega-deceptive world already, and I for one refuse to lie and expand it more. I’m not advocating telling your boss to go fuck himself and destroy your life, but start telling the truth where it needs to be told. If a guy asks me to go out and I say no, and he asks me - “Why? Are you with someone?”, the easy way would be to say - “Yes, I don’t want to go out with you because I’m already seeing someone”, and all is peachy and cute in the world? I’m not put on this planet to stroke someone’s ego; I’m here to make a difference, change the game, and yes, try to change the world where I can. What I will say is the truth - “No, I don’t want to go out with you, no reason, just not interested.” He will leave the space possibly hating me, but I believe in the truth more than I need to be liked. If my honesty will make you not like me, then thank you for saving my time.

Shaming

Did you notice people are getting more and more unorganized, unfocused, and utterly unprofessional? When you’re talking to people and you have to repeat stuff 76 times, or you need to remind them something 47 times, or you need to break down the simplest things 23 times while they aren’t that focused and you show a tiny bit of frustration you aren’t actually listened to, and they turn around to call you rude, arrogant, aggressive? I’m refusing to live in that universe. If you worked hard on yourself to be quick, smart, professional, and organized; refuse to be shamed into being labeled rude when you expect similar productiveness from people around you. Or at least focus. Especially from the people who hey spend their day drinking, smoking, doing nothing, wasting around, loopy WHILE blaming others for their incompetence? Refuse that shit. Ask them to meet you at your level, not the other way around.

Drinking

Alcohol is cool, don’t get me wrong. If you know how to drink, if the drink makes you more fun, chatty, sexy, adorable; great! I’m not down with people who drink to numb themselves from whatever issues they have in life, the ones who drink themselves dumb, aggressive, and quite frankly scary, who then go on to torture everyone in sight, instead of just leaving to sleep it off. I’m done with people who think my time should be spent dealing with their drunken, vile, aggressive mess - misery likes company, well aware, but I’m never again going to be that company.

Primal texting

Upping my game with time wasters this year. No more tolerating primal, stone-age text messaging. Writing dumb shit followed by the classics I was just kidding / I sent it to you by mistake / Relax, chill, why are you uptight - when the text doesn’t land where they imagined is where I instantly exit.

Social Media

Mayor refresh. Cut everything. Make everything smaller. And I say this to you and to myself, remove shit. We don’t need a Facebook profile, Facebook group, Facebook group for that other thing we might start one day in 2037; private Twitter, business Twitter, Instagram for us, our cat, and little sister; 12 Pinterests; a Google Plus, 16 Youtube Channels because we can’t friggin figure out how to attach the right one to this Google Plus monstrosity; let’s just stop. If you have a business that needs all the social profiles and those help grow your business, by all means. Do it. But you, as an individual? Do we really need all that shit? Trying to come up with 16 different types of content daily, comparing ourselves with other content we see that only kills our creativity and individuality.

Relationships on Social Media

I read an interesting article the other day about Alexander Skarsgard and Alexa Chung, a couple of actors who had a candid photo of them released a few days ago, ringing the New Year in Miami. The comments were wild, people being surprised they are still together - “But there are no pictures of him on her social media”, someone says. The article drew some very thought-provoking points. About individuality. And about the shift that appeared in social media. Posting about lifestyle, your work, projects is what it’s all about. Posting about your private life, not so much. I felt like that for a while now. And people often ask me why I don’t post anything about boys. Because I was in a very public relationship for almost a decade and I got extremely tired of people knowing about my private life. That only allowed them to feel invited to an opinion, a comment. Other than that, it completely killed my individuality. I want people to know me, my life, and my work, and not who I sleep with. I think it’s important for women to put forward their work, projects, business, or even just a lifestyle; and create a profile based on their individuality and achievements, if we must play this social media game.

Helping Smarter

And lastly? Helping people. It’s good to help. Relating to one another, and helping one another are the two most important things in life. What it all comes to, at the end. I help everyone who crosses my path to the point of often, actually sacrificing myself in the process. And that’s what I figured out in 2015. Help, but think - who you are helping. Don’t just do it, mindlessly. My brand of helping people is not just giving someone a phone number or connecting them with what or who they need to be connected with. I don’t do those 2 min helping tactics. I create the whole logistics of what needs to be done, I think and spend time and create situations that did not exist prior, that then evolve into a circumstance. That takes time, it takes energy that you don’t use to help yourself. I know this one is controversial, but I’ll stick with it - think who you’re helping. They have you, but you only have you. And if you’re over there, creating a circumstance for someone else, you’re not here, creating it for yourself. And out of 10 people you help, probably 2 actually appreciated it. Or even deserved it. In 2016, I plan to find the right two.

Smart, calm, together with yourself, ready, and confident in what you’re doing - is the 2016 energy.